No matter which religion you practice (or don't) there are some common threads that getting ready for the holiday involve.

Table Settings

What if I don't own china or have enough nice dishes for a full table to set but I want to host Thanksgiving at my place this year?

• China is beautiful but not necessary in my opinon
• Perhpas we registered for china if we are married and feel like we have to use it. It is often passed down as a heirloom and has sentimental value too.
• Table settings can range from one plate for the main course and one plate for dessert to multiple plates and courses. This is personal choice of the host.

There are numerous websites that show beautiful layout arrangements from simple to advanced.

Know your stress level as a host or hostess so you can plan for a casual approach to entertaining so you can have fun with it and this starts out with figuring out your menu and dishes.

• Generally if the host is having fun, everyone else will follow the lead. If the host appears stressed that may wear off on company.
• It is perfectly acceptable to assign guests different dishes to bring.

You should know that there are beautiful knock off disposable china place settings which can be purchased at Costco, Smart and Final, Party City, etc... amongst other stores and this is very acceptable in this day and age. You can also buy beautiful disposable silverware (caution some of these are a little tricky to cut into chicken or meat with. I have had many a plastic utensil break on me).

• Remember if you are a guest you are not typically the one doing the dishes.
• Think about how many courses you are serving so you have an idea of the quantity you will need to buy before you get to the store.
• Thanksgiving can be a great time to teach your children to set the table if you have not done this yet.
• It is also a good time to explain why you use different sized forks and spoons with fancier meals. Sometimes adults don't know the differences either.

Table Decorations

• Some people like to place name holders at individual seats so people know where to sit.
• This can also be very helpful with holiday events where there are divorced parents with both in attendance.
• These can also be helpful if you are trying to mix up the ladies and the men and the children.
• Making the placeholders can also become a great art project for children prior to the holiday if they are seeking a way to be involved in the day's planning and events.

Putting flowers or holiday themed decorations out at the bale gives a very festive look.

• Candles are also a great addition if young children are not present.
• For a guest coming that is very craft oriented they may have a field day making some holiday decorations, but be specific on what you are asking them to do. Make sure you will have room at the table for decorations before putting too much thought into it.
• Michael's Arts and Craft Stores have tons of great ideas on display and the supplies you need to replicate.

Invitations

• Request an R.S.V.P. with a specific date on the invitation whether it is sent in the mail or electronically. As the host you need an accurate head count.
• Don't be surprised if a lot of people don't R.S.V.P. even when you asked them to. In this case it is OK to follow up to see if they are coming.

Holiday Arguments

• A holiday meal is not the time for divorced couples to discuss issues. If there is business that needs to be taken care of then find a way to approach this before or after Thanksgiving so everyone can enjoy the day!
• If you and your spouse or significant other differ on how to handle conflict with company around figure it out early in your relationship, A quarrel with your mate can make a special day go south.
• If you have issues with your own child(ren) be careful to pick your battles and really limit it on the holiday. You all want to have happy memories later on.
• Don't draw a third party into your issue
• If you need to vent to make it through the day then go outside far away where no one can hear

Hosting In-Laws or Your Own Parents

I have a brother-in-law that I adore. He told me many years ago that after three nights house guests can smell like fish (meaning that 3 nights i the perfect amount of time for a visit). If guests are traveling a far distance it is OK to also condier the option of a hotel for a portion of the visit even though this may be uncomfortable to introduce.

• Set a timeline for the visit before you make the invite. Choose this timeline very carefully with your spouse or significant other.
• If your houseguest shave airline tickets they will not be leaving early
• Have an activity planned each day. Even if the event is an afternoon card game or scrabble game or taking the Grandkids to the park, it will give everyone something to look forward to and offer some structure.
• Take out food for dinner some nights of the visit is A OK. You do not have to cook for your company every night nor should you be expected to. Your parents or in-laws should at least offer to pay for the take out food or eating out.
• Have some good movies on hand for watching at night after dinner.
• Keep up your regular exercise routine if you have one. Your house guests will understand and you will need the break and mental release.
• Encourage your houseguests to take a walk weather permitting so you can get some time alone in your house
• Allow and encourage in-laws to get involved. Everyone wants to feel needed. No one wants to feel like they are a burden. And, you may really need an extra set of hands if you are the host.
• If you have children this is a good opportunity for you to get a date night out while grandparents watch the kids for a couple hours (if they are able to do this). It also give special bonding time for the grandparents and grandchildren. You may need to bring this idea up.
• If there is a real issue brewing in the house let the actual son or daughter of the in-laws be the one to deal with it.

Hostess Gifts

Do not under any circumstances show up for Thanksgiving dinner without a hostess gift or a dish for the meal (even if you ask the host what you can bring and they say "just yourself"). If you want to contribute a dish to the meal ask the host or hostess in advance what you can contribute towards the meal so you are not duplicating.

Great hostess gift recommendations are:

• Flowers
• Bottle of wine
• Pretty disposable napkins for the bathroom (especially during the cold and flu season this is a great gift)

Don't show up and regift something that may have been given to you by a member of the group you will be with. Also if you are even considering regifting make sure the item is in its original packaging and has never been opened. If it is a food item make sure it is new and fresh. Thanksgiving reminds us to be thankful for what we have. Putting some advance planning into the holiday season and sharing some of the ideas in this article with your extended family can make the day special for everyone!